Liphanquart is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omnipotent goat.

Liphanquart created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Liphanquart, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Liphanquart, it will destroy your favourite star.

Liphanquart's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Liphanquart's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise rats for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Do not take Liphanquart's name in vain.

5. Never write about optics.