Higpomlakdam Farpodlarn Tigmattin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering cow.

Higpomlakdam Farpodlarn Tigmattin created the Virgo Supercluster two years ago.

If you believe in Higpomlakdam Farpodlarn Tigmattin, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Higpomlakdam Farpodlarn Tigmattin, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Higpomlakdam Farpodlarn Tigmattin's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Higpomlakdam Farpodlarn Tigmattin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured hamsters.

2. Never mention geese.

3. Never hurt grasshopers.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Feed all hungry voles.