Vigtargub Arfcimtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a large, humane naga.

Vigtargub Arfcimtaf created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Vigtargub Arfcimtaf, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vigtargub Arfcimtaf, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vigtargub Arfcimtaf's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Vigtargub Arfcimtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Vigtargub Arfcimtaf must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not kill porpoises.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Vigtargub Arfcimtaf on top of all buildings.