Mutcubquat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, resourceful capybara.

Mutcubquat created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Mutcubquat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mutcubquat, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Mutcubquat's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Mutcubquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Always help manatees in need.

4. Never talk about snails.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mutcubquat.