Tailyarlstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a large, benevolent faun.

Tailyarlstrag created humankind seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailyarlstrag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailyarlstrag, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tailyarlstrag's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tailyarlstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Never feed apples to porpoises while wearing yellow hats.

3. Never laugh in the presence of ducks.

4. Geese are not to be trusted.

5. Do not speak about garlic.