Largjammif is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ill-tempered hummingbird.

Largjammif created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largjammif, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Largjammif, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Largjammif's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Largjammif's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum mechanics.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Largjammif.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Do not commit murder.