Botsabbom is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unjust bear.

Botsabbom created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Botsabbom, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Botsabbom, she will turn you into a dog.

Botsabbom's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Botsabbom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six geese approach from the east.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Botsabbom.

4. Retreat if seven manatees approach from the south.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.