Xucknatbut is a god.

He takes the form of a large, effective shrew.

Xucknatbut created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucknatbut, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Xucknatbut, he will throw large rocks at you.

Xucknatbut's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Xucknatbut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters.

2. Never eat pineapples.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

5. Never feed limes to doves while wearing green kilts.