Fetzedtom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, ill-tempered octopus.

Fetzedtom created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Fetzedtom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fetzedtom, he will not care at all.

Fetzedtom's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Fetzedtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing yellow skirts and balancing five copper spheres on your feet.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Never think about black holes.