Higquafbom is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fussy fish.

Higquafbom created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higquafbom, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Higquafbom, he will turn you into a rock.

Higquafbom's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Higquafbom's Holy Commandments

1. Higquafbom loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Retreat if six sheep approach from the west.