Nurtstragfag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, merciful goose.

Nurtstragfag created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtstragfag, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nurtstragfag, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nurtstragfag's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Nurtstragfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Never paint your feet mauve.