Ingvonkfas is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unsympathetic octopus.

Ingvonkfas created the Cigar Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ingvonkfas, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ingvonkfas, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ingvonkfas' most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Ingvonkfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. You must pray to Ingvonkfas six times a day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Do not speak about pineapples.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.