Stiploopfen is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, egotistical warg.

Stiploopfen created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiploopfen, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stiploopfen, it will turn you into a sheep.

Stiploopfen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Stiploopfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about turnips.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stiploopfen.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near cats while wearing magenta shirts and balancing eight lead spheres on your feet.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.