Gettapwot Wegquartbag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, passionate cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gettapwot Wegquartbag created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gettapwot Wegquartbag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gettapwot Wegquartbag, he will strike you with lightening.

Gettapwot Wegquartbag's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gettapwot Wegquartbag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Gettapwot Wegquartbag on top of all buildings.

2. Never wear magenta tights.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Put Gettapwot Wegquartbag first in all things.

5. Never eat bark.