Watnakweg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, wise horse.

Watnakweg created the Sun three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watnakweg, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Watnakweg, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Watnakweg's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Watnakweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat oranges.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Watnakweg in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Always obey Watnakweg's priests.

5. Never feed lots of melons to badgers while wearing orange shirts.