Fagstaftab is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, competent hippopotamus.

Fagstaftab created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagstaftab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fagstaftab, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fagstaftab's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Fagstaftab's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

5. Fast once a month.