Lipbondissgedxemnab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, resourceful guinea pig.

Lipbondissgedxemnab created the Sun two million years ago.

If you believe in Lipbondissgedxemnab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lipbondissgedxemnab, it will turn you into a frog.

Lipbondissgedxemnab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Lipbondissgedxemnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. You must pray to Lipbondissgedxemnab four times a day.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

4. Lipbondissgedxemnab loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.