Kikfongess is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating rhinoceros.

Kikfongess created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikfongess, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kikfongess, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Kikfongess' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Kikfongess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick whales.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near great tits while wearing gray jumpers and balancing seven titanium spheres on your neck.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never laugh in holy places.