Jabvolfut is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jabvolfut created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabvolfut, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jabvolfut, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Jabvolfut's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Jabvolfut's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not hurt swans.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.