Cibladzagnadvigmobrapflig Fedbempig is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, uncaring wombat.

Cibladzagnadvigmobrapflig Fedbempig created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cibladzagnadvigmobrapflig Fedbempig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cibladzagnadvigmobrapflig Fedbempig, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cibladzagnadvigmobrapflig Fedbempig's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Cibladzagnadvigmobrapflig Fedbempig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near foxes while wearing violet shirts.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Retreat if six sharks approach from the west.

5. Hide if four mites approach from the south.