Caparnfob is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, temperamental faun.

Caparnfob created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Caparnfob, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Caparnfob, it will turn you into a goat.

Caparnfob's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Caparnfob's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. You must pray to Caparnfob nine times a day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never mention frogs.