Labsugcit is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, happy rat.

Labsugcit created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Labsugcit, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Labsugcit, it will ignore you.

Labsugcit's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Labsugcit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Labsugcit on top of all buildings.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never go into brown rooms.