Pinjamzim is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, sage duck.

Pinjamzim created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinjamzim, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pinjamzim, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pinjamzim's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Pinjamzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not speak about onions.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

5. Never laugh near sharks.