Begdaphon is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, cheerful hydra.

Begdaphon created time and space four million years ago.

If you believe in Begdaphon, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Begdaphon, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Begdaphon's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Begdaphon's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not hurt snakes.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Never wear indigo shirts.