Konmitfut is a god.

He takes the form of a small, confident shrew.

Konmitfut created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konmitfut, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Konmitfut, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Konmitfut's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Konmitfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Never feed aubergines to monkeys while wearing white stockings.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Run away if nine badgers approach from the north.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.