Sisjopnel is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic turtle.

Sisjopnel created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sisjopnel, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sisjopnel, he will throw large rocks at you.

Sisjopnel's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Sisjopnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ducks.

2. Do not hurt whales.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.