Dussjaplun is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ill-tempered hare.

Dussjaplun created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussjaplun, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Dussjaplun, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Dussjaplun's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Dussjaplun's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near gulls.

2. Dussjaplun loves ants, so they must be honoured.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

4. You must never eat pineapples.

5. Always help ducks.