Begtimmip is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unthinking turtle.

Begtimmip created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Begtimmip, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Begtimmip, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Begtimmip's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Begtimmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. You must never eat rice.

3. You must love Begtimmip.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.