Voltimfar is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless dog.

Voltimfar created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Voltimfar, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Voltimfar, it will have a low opinion of you.

Voltimfar's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Voltimfar's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dogs.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.