Latqueegveg is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fussy wyvern.

Latqueegveg created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latqueegveg, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Latqueegveg, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Latqueegveg's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Latqueegveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not eat corn.