Fonbegrat is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, tiresome fairy.

Fonbegrat created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonbegrat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fonbegrat, she will boil you in a big pot.

Fonbegrat's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Fonbegrat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine pigs approach from the west.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near monkeys while wearing green rings and balancing seven carbon spheres on your face.

3. Feed all hungry doves.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Do not kill grasshopers.