Sakmipsat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, self-assured jackal.

Sakmipsat created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sakmipsat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sakmipsat, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sakmipsat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Sakmipsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Retreat if six seals approach from the south.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Put Sakmipsat first in all things.