Safbutdoss is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, grumpy penguin.

Safbutdoss created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safbutdoss, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Safbutdoss, it will turn you into a dog.

Safbutdoss' most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Safbutdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not chop down trees.