Flamstanwan Bedyarlvol Gettalnur is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented swan.

Flamstanwan Bedyarlvol Gettalnur created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamstanwan Bedyarlvol Gettalnur, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flamstanwan Bedyarlvol Gettalnur, she will jump up and down on your head.

Flamstanwan Bedyarlvol Gettalnur's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Flamstanwan Bedyarlvol Gettalnur's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Flamstanwan Bedyarlvol Gettalnur in the centre of the settlement.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.