Larpbasspid is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-assured horse.

Larpbasspid created the world two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpbasspid, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larpbasspid, she will turn you into a mole.

Larpbasspid's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Larpbasspid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about chlorophyll.

3. Never write about eukaryotes.

4. Larpbasspid loves birds, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.