Pontenhas is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, moody mink.

Pontenhas created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Pontenhas, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pontenhas, it will turn you into a puffin.

Pontenhas' most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Pontenhas' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pontenhas.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.