Fedjatfod Quamfobaf Quatripkam is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, wise faun.

Fedjatfod Quamfobaf Quatripkam created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedjatfod Quamfobaf Quatripkam, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fedjatfod Quamfobaf Quatripkam, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fedjatfod Quamfobaf Quatripkam's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Fedjatfod Quamfobaf Quatripkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Always obey Fedjatfod Quamfobaf Quatripkam's priests.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Always help sick gulls.