Vogkimjam is a god.

It takes the form of a small, all-knowing rhinoceros.

Vogkimjam created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogkimjam, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vogkimjam, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Vogkimjam's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Vogkimjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Worship no other gods but Vogkimjam.

3. Always treat cats with great respect.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not shave your feet.