Fligtoftarg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying badger.

Fligtoftarg created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligtoftarg, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fligtoftarg, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Fligtoftarg's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Fligtoftarg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Fligtoftarg in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about dark matter near tapirs while wearing yellow shorts and balancing seven titanium spheres on your chest.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Hide if eight mice approach from the north.

5. Never eat limes.