Yikqueegdub is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unthoughtful faun.

Yikqueegdub created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikqueegdub, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yikqueegdub, he will make you grow a tail.

Yikqueegdub's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yikqueegdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of garlic to moths while wearing yellow shoes.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never paint your head gray.

5. Do not stand on grass.