Vilspagham is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, flying zebra.

Vilspagham created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vilspagham, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vilspagham, she will not care.

Vilspagham's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Vilspagham's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vilspagham.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.