Cemsitxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, stupid alligator.

Cemsitxuc created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemsitxuc, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cemsitxuc, she will ignore you.

Cemsitxuc's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Cemsitxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear cyan stockings.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Do not drink alcohol.