Kopmiddobfigdubnul is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, effective hydra.

Kopmiddobfigdubnul created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopmiddobfigdubnul, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kopmiddobfigdubnul, it will be very unhappy.

Kopmiddobfigdubnul's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Kopmiddobfigdubnul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Kopmiddobfigdubnul must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.