Vogtapbim is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, temperamental scorpion.

Vogtapbim created parasitic wasps three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogtapbim, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vogtapbim, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Vogtapbim's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vogtapbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. You must pray to Vogtapbim four times a day.

5. Do not chant in public.