Zagtikbam Lenflagflabingbatnillcutsas is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate alligator.

Zagtikbam Lenflagflabingbatnillcutsas created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtikbam Lenflagflabingbatnillcutsas, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zagtikbam Lenflagflabingbatnillcutsas, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Zagtikbam Lenflagflabingbatnillcutsas' most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Zagtikbam Lenflagflabingbatnillcutsas' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.