Nullargbed is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, quiet lobster.

Nullargbed created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Nullargbed, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nullargbed, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nullargbed's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Nullargbed's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Run away if eight great tits approach from the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.