Ditdudfebdim is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, egotistical zebra.

Ditdudfebdim created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Ditdudfebdim, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ditdudfebdim, she will remove you from existence.

Ditdudfebdim's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Ditdudfebdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near ants while wearing mauve coats and balancing three titanium spheres on your chest.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. You must never eat strawberries.

4. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.