Watfebquag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, loving crane.

Watfebquag created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Watfebquag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Watfebquag, he will turn you into a goat.

Watfebquag's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Watfebquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dolphins.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Always help swans in need.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing turquoise rings and balancing five platinum spheres on your head.

5. Run away from magenta squirrels, for they are unholy.