Canveenneg Pighuddim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, merciless wombat.

Canveenneg Pighuddim created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Canveenneg Pighuddim, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Canveenneg Pighuddim, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Canveenneg Pighuddim's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Canveenneg Pighuddim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Canveenneg Pighuddim's name in vain.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near pigs while wearing purple dresses and balancing seven titanium spheres on your chest.

3. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

4. Never hurt turtles.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Canveenneg Pighuddim.