Lakstiksaw is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, merciful octopus.

Lakstiksaw created the Sol system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakstiksaw, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lakstiksaw, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Lakstiksaw's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Lakstiksaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near moths while wearing turquoise boots and balancing nine copper spheres on your legs.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always take life seriously.