Govtimrip Xemtalrow Loophapkin is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, contented ferret.

Govtimrip Xemtalrow Loophapkin created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govtimrip Xemtalrow Loophapkin, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Govtimrip Xemtalrow Loophapkin, he will turn you into a mouse.

Govtimrip Xemtalrow Loophapkin's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Govtimrip Xemtalrow Loophapkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Govtimrip Xemtalrow Loophapkin in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.