Flatdubril Vagingcub is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, humorless coyote.

Flatdubril Vagingcub created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatdubril Vagingcub, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flatdubril Vagingcub, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flatdubril Vagingcub's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Flatdubril Vagingcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. You must never eat garlic.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

5. Never play with disobedient children.